I’ve been waiting so long to find this.
at this point I’ve nearly forgotten that pirating movies and software is illegal
I hate living in a small town. Sometimes, you just need to let loose. After six-or-so months of not going out, last weekend I went out clubbing in a short dress and got slightly inebriated, as most 18-year-olds do in this town.
Today, mum comes home from work and says: “The nurses from work saw you out on the weekend. They said your dress was too short.”
Well whooptie-fucking-doo. Of course the fact that I wore a short dress out clubbing as most girls tend to do would come up in casual conversation.
How does that even come about? How would you bring up a short dress in conversation? “Hey I saw your daughter out on the weekend, her dress was short.” How are you supposed to say that without coming across as a pompous, shallow cow?
Those nurses are about the same age as I am and I can guarantee that they were wearing short dresses as well. But of course, it’s always about what I was wearing. Because unlike them, I’m fat, and apparently a fat girl can’t unashamedly wear a short dress out to the night clubs.
Jonah Hill & Morgan Freeman
youre not friends if you havent pooped at each others houses
but what if the friend is across the country or in another country?
i made this post over a year ago, and now, in hindsight, i would like to STRONGLY advise against mailing poop to your friend.